I have recently been going through some things in my life that I think could be solved if I looked at life the way Epictetus did. I felt a connection with him and his point of view right away. One of my favorite quotes from Epictetus is: “Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast.” I believe that this means that we should calm down and enjoy life. Too many of us feel like we have to worry and if we are not worrying then we are not being productive. This is a vicious cycle full of stress and anger. Epictetus also says, “If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase.” This could not be closer to the truth. I have realized that this has major real world applications. We should try our hardest to not let people get to us. By us getting angry we are only hurting ourselves, making our lives miserable. If we ignore the thing or person that angers us, it gives us peace of mind and we are able to go about our lives without concern.
With graduation looming over my head, I feel all sorts of stress weighing down on me. Most of this is because I am not sure of my future. Epictetus tells us not to worry about what we cannot control. He says, “Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” This quote gives me reassurance that I can only do today what is to the best of my abilities and whatever is to happen in the future is not in my realm of control.
One of my biggest worries is also that I will not fulfill my purpose in life. I want more than anything to help people and make people happy. It is a very annoying trait that I have had since I was very young. I always want people to like me. Epictetus says that “in order to please others, we loose our hold on our life’s purpose.” I like this and for some reason it gives me reassurance. I’m not particularly sure why.
I also cannot stand it when people talk about me badly or think things of me that I know are not true. Epictetus says that “if you hear someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself you should say: ‘He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned.” Reading this makes me laugh, but I have also tried to apply it in my own life. Surprisingly it has worked and given me inner peace at the same time. Most people who have been getting under my skin have never taken the time to get to know me and therefore do not understand my character. I need stop trying so hard to impress these people and concentrate on growing the relationships with people who love and respect me.
My last and final quote that I have tried to incorporate into my life is: “Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen and your life will go well.” Take life as it comes. This has helped me sort out a lot of the stress that I have been having about trying to control my future. I have started to learn that if I keep my inner self happy that my outer self will follow. The perfect job, the perfect car, and the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend are only insignificant parts of being happy. Happiness within your soul is the only way to have peace in your life; anything else is just an illusion.
